Saw Bazaar and Serendipity back to back. You would understand what I mean if you have seen both. Bazaar is an extraordinary movie, portraying Indian methodology of treating women for love and marriage in larger parts of India. Serendipity talks about believing in destiny for finding and falling in love …
Its so ironic that even holding up so many correct ways of leading life, Indian methods still and still falter in such critical issues….and its probably not only related to poverty…Bazaar shows both the poverty driven problems of treating girls and otherwise. Girls are either bought or sold in the wedding process still in larger uneducated parts of India…and from what I hear, in educated classes as well.
Don’t know what shall resolve this deep rooted mindset of treating women? Is it money, education or something else?
I believe the institution of arranged marriage system is the cause. It creates more problems than solutions…. It has created this wrong mindset in people and wrong methods built on top of it. You alone should have the right and responsibility for what you choose…why marry just for the sake of it?
Well, come to think of it, isn’t this process alone the root cause for dowry, female foeticide etc. ? In progressive families, I have seen parents declining to go for the process of presenting their daughter for perusal…but in this case sometimes, the daughter has a lot of peer pressure to find someone on their own as rest of the lot is getting “settled” through the same process of arrangement…why settling is such a big deal when one's independent?
On the other hand, look at Serendipity…love and hence marrying for being with the person you love is Serendipity…some things are meant to be…life , love and death…you can’t put rules around these!!
Find love and I guarantee you shall get it…I have seen it in so many cases around me and myself (well that’s pretty ironic against some of my blogs…but the last few years were revelation indeed)… I knew it all the way that marriage is only a way to live with the person you love. And I did find him where I least expected him to be … I knew it right when I saw him…
"You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round the moon
This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.
When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it."
Believe in love … let it be love and hence marriage… there’s nothing fundamentally wrong in spending life with yourself, your friends or family if not your husband/wife… of course being independent is the crux to it…which mostly India is tending to be…so let this be the next step to resolving this tendency of arrangement which leads to disrespect in many many cases.
Let’s go west in our mindsets…let’s remove this age old deep root of many issues …let’s abolish arrange marriage process… Let's be like the song says-
"There is a paradise that can be found
A better life to bring us round
And all we really need to do
Is see the world like lovers do"
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