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Life as a w?hole......

There's a hole in my soul ..
You 'can't' see it on my face,'but' it's a real big place....

Never could I percieve that living life would go out of my plans, would even mean that it can just go 'outbound'...It's feeling something like I am going round and round without my knowledge and the centrifugal force is just causing my life to fly away but it can't...and the net result is causing damn stagnancy.....

24 yrs of life and 1 yr of happiness... Don't I deserve better results? Results of my goodness? Of my hopes ? My wishes?

Plans I did make . Hopes I did have . Failed to make out fledgility in the luck front! Alas!

The monotony is getting high. Dunno what to do to get out of this frustration. All through one's life one dreams of a stable job, a happy family, all set n settled at its place... n even when I have the first condition true[only though, but still at least something n many of you might well understand that this itself is claustrophobic], I dont feel the least happy. Dreams , hopes all dependent on a single entity......fortune[ in every meaning this word can provide] which I don't 'hope' of having any time in future.....

Such little kids...understand so much out of life...talk about so much of life...but fails to extract itself from it! Difficult man..

So tell me what should I do. Just need to hold this floating soul and mend it .So how should I put a little bit of air in this vacant chamber where my life is stuck??

I guess I need you, whosoever you are....come soon...am waiting..Really...

Comments

Anonymous said…
Wow !!! now that's what i call a good start. Keep it up. I am impressed. I really liked the way you have put the random thoughts in abstract words which are so honest and everyone around has experienced at one point of time or the other. These words are a reflection of you, indeed. Your fans (or ACs, i knw its a PJ, xcuse me :) ) like me hope to have some more insight in your world in future.
One more thing , it would be nice if not just the words in your blog but also the thoughts in your head are adorned in garbs of optimism rather than grim shades of pessimism. what say u ???

A big round of applause...
MARKABLE NAME
Anonymous said…
nice one Monalees ... but is this name of urs inspired by the da vinci code, not referring to the Monalisa, but the style its encrypted...
really nice blog, saved it up in my desktop.. :-)
Anonymous said…
24 years....and so much frustrations!!!

Darling it doesn't matter how you plan life. What matters is how you face life when it goes out of plan. Take life as it comes and try to get out as much happiness as you can from it. Happiness is not a stable job, a handsome husband or obedient kids. Happiness is something you get out of your life everyday. Even a beggar who has got no family, no money would suddenly feel happy when he gets hold of some money and realises that he wouldn't have to sleep hungry that day. Why run after the big things in life when the small ones can make you so happy.

Don't make big plans in life and regret later that life has not gone as planned.
Live life to the fullest and look back and say "Wow, I had planned my life well".

Remember you are born to live and you are not living because you are born.
Anonymous said…
Sorry couldn't help giving you funda.
Anonymous said…
Good one. See i cant give u any solution on the topic ,coz i m one of those who believe that happiness is a very relative term. There r really many people in the same frame of life as urs who r damn happy about it. & on the other hand u (& me too) r not absolutely unhappy, but always feel a void in our lives. Now how that can be filled.....well....i realy dont know. Will definitely follow ur blog & its comments to get a clue.
Anonymous said…
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Anonymous said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said…
Good start Monalees!

Very few people have the courage to put down whatever they have in their mind and share it with people, especially if its sensitive and painful. Coz not only do you share your feelings, you share your vulnerability.

I firmly believe that everyone has rightful share of happiness and they get their due, sooner or later. Just have a little patience. And atleast keep trying your luck, dont leave any chance. Eg. If you like someone just confront him (if you wish hold him by his neck) and tell him, hey look this is what I feel for you. And who made the rule that only guys should take the first step. You have got to take few chances, it may not work sometimes but if you wont try even then its sure not to be.

Similarly, you can take responsibility of your happiness and try for everything that would give you happiness. Even if you wouldn't have it, you'll have the satisfaction that you tried. See me, I have the satisfaction that I tried, though I was not taken seriously but I tried none the less.

So, keep trying as you tried with the blog and have such a nice output.
Monalees:) said…
Vishu , what a nice comment it was... Hello! I am not in any kind of a situation which u thought I probably am....I know this blog seems to be abstract but then it's not like that..And as for happiness? you don't try for happiness dear, it comes to you....
Anonymous said…
Wow ! Never thought that someone could be so much frustrated of her life.
What i think is that everyone has got everything in life, but either they don't realize or don't want to.Your's is the case that you don't want to.May be you don't have that MR. Right/ dream boy in your life but must have got many other things like good friends and caring and happy family.You should be optimistic, try to enjoy everything that you have right now.Do dream, but remember that they are dreams and not actual life.

Having that Mr. Right also won;t solve your problem as your expectations are very high and they will keep on growing.You don't cherish your present but think more about ur future.
Start living for each day and not the future, you will sure enjoy it.

Look around you are much better than those around you.You have got everything you want, just realize it Monalees:)
Anonymous said…
Loneliness is always looking for a friend
It found me once and it has been around since then
Loneliness is never waiting by the door
It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored
Why, why was I chosen?
Ashish said…
100% agree with sud....

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