Skip to main content

To DINK or not


Now that I have seen both sides of it, let me throw some light on this.

There was a time when I liked only some chosen cute kids. I used to hate most of them. I had the believe that giving birth is cruel as its your choice and you don’t know if the soul wants the life, which might be injustice. And life with just the two of us and just money building, travelling and good lifestyle was too hard to let go. Honestly I never understood the term "Bundle of Joy"!

Life post parenthood is undoubtedly challenging.

1)      Your time management needs to be excellent to manage everything. For sure motherhood brings in unimaginable capabilities. But life becomes hectic.

2)      If family support is not there, then n number of logistics need to be planned to make things work out safely. Logistics is an everyday issue. And life requires meticulous planning.
But then there must be a reason why everyone ends up having a family. So I got deciphering the need for kids:

1)      When we get old and don’t have our parents as “family”, it will be lonely.

2)      But still how can I contradict the fact that it’s still cruel? So I read Bhagavat Geeta and got the answer. The souls will anyways take birth to get purified and exit the life cycle. So maybe I can give a good quality life to one J .

3)      Life needs some variation all the time. After a point even travelling, job roles, lifestyle, making house and cars get boring.

4)      One must have all generation touch points to make sure you are not out of sync with some latest in-thing. Weird but true driver.
So there we went and had our lil one. And let me tell you few key facts of it:

1)      Its b***** difficult. It’s just the two of us and I not only joined back office in 3 months but also shifted job when he was 5 months. I again did another shift when he was 15 months old. Which meant no leaves and a lot of work pressure.  But as I said motherhood brings in amazing qualities in you – patience, physical & mental strength and alertness. You just know you got to make things work out and you will.

2)      Fatherhood is as important as motherhood and we do share it just equally (except the breastfeeding bit of it).

3)      I have decoded the reason behind the “joy”. 

              a)    You get to relive your childhood. Child with money and independence. You get the deal? 

               b)      And there’s love all around. So much love, love and just love! What’s life without purest love?

               c)    That unique discovery of someone which is you but yet not you!

5)      There is hardly anything you can’t do once you have a kid. He has been to Coldplay concert with us, been to HRC, movies etc. etc. He has been travelling on flights since he was 18 days old and he has done n number of journeys both domestic and international. Recently we went to Italy and it was the best vacations we had ever had. Vacations with him are always full of fun. Honestly.

6)      Well probably the only things we have missed are attending classical concerts and plays.

7)      The best beauty of having a kid (apart from the fact that it’s so much fun), is that it feels so good to have one more life in your family. I now feel I should have 10 kids (had I the means of it). The fact that death is not in our hand but making life is! And it’s so beautiful.

8)      Sometimes, only sometimes when I see DINKs, I have a tiny winy jealousy as they get to have so much time!

9)      But I still read books, listen to music, do full time work (am in consulting – if you know what I mean), serve weekend guests with 4 course meals, go for movies and dance with my son. And we neither have a nanny, nor family support!

So life’s good with kids. The more the merrier, I believe now. And I have started loving kids. I know mostly all kids in my society. Incredible feat I would say!



[P.S. Contemplating why I wrote this. Am sure no one was waiting for my gyan. It looks so much like my ppts- with a background, trends and drivers, facts/use cases and conclusion. Only that its free]

Comments

Mamma excellent description ....you know I am very much fond of travelling and used to read every sunday's Statesman's travel page ,and when I was reading your blog it seems to me I am reading one of the article of this news paper. God bless you...wish you can fulfill all your dreams ,
Mamma yes it is very hard to maintain parenthood ,but you managed it nicely though you did not get family support but got a nice caring husband and father.God bless you and enjoy your family fully .

Popular posts from this blog

The Big Fat GreekStory

Life has been “Know as you go”. I remember zero facts from my fat books of school and all my wisdom has been from what I have seen during my travel and meeting people. I thought Greece would be just a relaxing vacation by the sea, but it ended up being the greatest history lesson I had. If Notre Dam in Paris can awe us, the Roman Forum gives one goose-bumps then Mycenae (and other archaeological sites) in Greece is a "gasm" of sorts. I probably never be strong enough to visit any of the Ziggurats in Iraq..till the pyramids wait.. and till I comprehend how to figure out IVC remains in my own country , nothing can compare to the depth and realization of the power of mankind, the way Greece has entrenched on me. The history started pouring from Acropolis in Athens. Though it has been from antiquity, its glory gradually developed. The current standing structure of Parthenon was re-built in 500 BC by king Pericles under whose reign democracy, philosophy, science gained ...

Impulsive...N that's it...

Is it the thought that matters??? Well, this one came as a result of seeing some old snaps.Of Vietnam war, a few coups, Iraq war, Somalia n the very first instances of racism.I really dont understand , that why do we at all react to these if its just going to be for the time being..."Oh! how come 'People' are so fiendish??how do they do this to a fellow human"?? Hello!!! why are u bothered...r u going to make any difference? R u going to burn urself protesting against government laws, deaths caused by war n corruption?...r u?Or else ,r u even going to do as simple a thing as donating money for a noble cause...hey why/how come I'll do that...there's corruption in between..the money will never reach the targeted so called poor fortuned!!... One of the snaps shows a missionary holding the hand of a "going to die Somalian kid"...It felt like God is holding ET's hand!!! Others were of Refugees being killed in War, mother pleading to stone-faced soldi...

Go West

Saw Bazaar and Serendipity back to back. You would understand what I mean if you have seen both. Bazaar is an extraordinary movie, portraying Indian methodology of treating women for love and marriage in larger parts of India. Serendipity talks about believing in destiny for finding and falling in love … Its so ironic that even holding up so many correct ways of leading life, Indian methods still and still falter in such critical issues….and its probably not only related to poverty…Bazaar shows both the poverty driven problems of treating girls and otherwise. Girls are either bought or sold in the wedding process still in larger uneducated parts of India…and from what I hear, in educated classes as well.  Don’t know what shall resolve this deep rooted mindset of treating women? Is it money, education or something else? I believe the institution of arranged marriage system is the cause. It creates more problems than solutions…. It has created this wrong mindset in peop...